Balancing Being a Dad

I remember the very first time I was surprised at MetLife by my colleagues was when I was walking to a supposed team meeting in 3G Left in our 10 Park building in Morristown, and as I walked into the center room, a large group of people were gathered over what I’d assumed was someone’s birthday celebration – but then folks burst out with a cheer and clapping to celebrate my impending fatherhood with a baby shower! It was a warm reminder of the kindness of my colleagues here at Met, and we support each other through the journey as a parent and colleague.

I joined MetLife in 2006, a fresh-faced analyst coming from prior life as an electrical engineer. I was fortunate to find a leader at MetLife willing to give me a chance to help by utilizing my coding, math, and project management skills while training me on the markets and derivatives, exploring everything from biddies to beta. The next few years were a whirlwind of learning unlike any other in my life, where I was learning what I needed just-in-time, and applying the lessons in real-time. I helped build out our derivatives middle office, creating databases, tools, policies and procedures, and was eventually offered the opportunity to move into a trading analyst role with the derivatives front office where I would fall in love with trading, markets, portfolios and hedging the MetLife businesses. In pursuit of learning, I even met my wife at the CFA exam in the Javits Center! I decided to go to school part-time at NYU Stern to bolster my business knowledge through the Langone MBA program on nights and weekends, and it was at the end of my MBA studies where my wife and I had our daughter.

I always wondered once I had a family how I would balance what I saw as one of the keys to my success at work – being able to dedicate as much time as I needed to study, analyze and understand the business in order to come up with interesting and efficient solutions. I remember my own parents working late when I was young, and hoping I could find a way to reconcile how I spent my time between what I thought was driving my success at work, while not missing out on my little one growing up, too. This was before the pandemic (what a different time that would have been if my little one was born when we were working form home for two years!), and I worried that I would have to be less involved at work than I wanted, and wondered if that would impact my future responsibilities with MetLife which had been picking up at that point. I’ve always been one to thrive when I am helping others, and fortunately my mentors taught me how even the helpers need help with new situations that others can provide their experience over!

Fortunately, with my mentors and coworkers support, beyond showing me the benefits for all associates as a new parents from MetLife, they shared strategies and advice on how to handle the massive changes in my life, revisiting what it meant to be successful as a new parent, and to reassess my work to ensure I was focused and realistic given the new adjustments to my life priorities. My goals at work and with family could coexist and thrive, and this required me to adapt, practice, and allow myself to patient and flexible as I experienced failure and success while pursuing a new path; there wasn’t only one way to achieve my long-term goals. My team leads understood the challenges of being a new parent and counseled me on how to re-evaluate and adjust during the first months to a more flexible schedule and taught me how to find success at work by learning how to better prioritize, delegate, connect and communicate with teams, and be confident in taking PTO to cover family events because I had trained my team well to take care of business while I was out. Whether my child needed to go to one of the many well- or sick-visits when little, early pickup or late drop-off at daycare and school, or taking the day to work from home when my wife couldn’t because of her work, they helped support my success as a parent and enhance how I do my work as I’ve grown from being an associate to a VP this last decade!

Little Emily became a fixture at work, too. We came in to celebrate the holidays, dressed in food themes for the first few years – a gingerbread cookie as a baby, a little pumpkin for her first toddler Halloween at the office gathering candy from the floor, and she spent time on the couches between the desks doing her homework and playing little games with the team on half days off school instead of staying at home. She was even featured with me for a MetLife recruiting video at the Bronx Zoo! When she was old enough, she came to join us at the Families@MetLife events at the zoo, MetLife stadium, and the Take Your Kid’s to Work Days! My work with the diversity, equity and inclusion networks have expanded my world view, and I’ve learned helpful tips to support my family as a member of FAM, been more aware of obstacles and biases my daughter my encounter later as an ally to WBN and co-lead for PAPN and of the now-retired MPN.

Today, my colleagues are still a well-spring of advice and support as they’ve been where I am now with my pre-teen, and I try to pass along to the next generation of parents, guidance and advice that I’ve learned along the way to those with younger children. Our team works together to balance our different family and individual commitments – including elder care, new homes, taking time to travel, life events or just recharging to keep folks from burning out at work!

I am grateful to my long-time boss, Sean Huang, and our derivatives teams for their continual support and feedback, helping me both improve at work, and as a parent! I am thankful to be able to be there for my family’s memories while being able to utilize flexible working hours and on/off-site tools to cover my global derivatives responsibilities to ensure our international and domestic portfolios are effectively hedged and local teams are supported properly. I am reminded by a quote my boss once told me - there is no such thing as work-life balance, only choices that we must make which will impact one or the other. However, if we take a breath and a step back to look at the greater picture, we can rebalance our capacity to capture critical events and goals in both arenas as a parent and at work, and be successful in both!

I could not have done it without the support of an army of support! First and foremost, to my loving and patient wife, for my parents who come to help, in-laws who are willing to live with us, and friends who we all volunteer to watch the kids grow and play. At Met, I am grateful to my long-time boss, Sean Huang, and our derivatives teams for their continual support and feedback, helping me both improve at work, and as a parent! I am thankful to be able to be there for my family’s memories while being able to utilize flexible working hours and on/off-site tools to cover my global derivatives responsibilities to ensure our international and domestic portfolios are effectively hedged and local teams are supported properly. I am reminded by a quote my boss once told me - there is no such thing as work-life balance, only choices that we must make which will impact one or the other. However, if we take a breath and a step back to look at the greater picture, we can rebalance our capacity to capture critical events and goals in both arenas as a parent and at work, and be successful in both!